present and in awe

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Hello there. Today has been an interesting day.

It’s been one of those days when the things you’re stressed about, unbeknownst to you, have been slowly crawling to a resolution and in a flash of glory everything aligns and the stress is lifted and suddenly, suddenly, suddenly everything is perfect and going to work out—not just fine, but better than fine, better than you could have expected.

I woke up this morning and saw this photo on my Facebook feed, and it struck me somehow. The day continued to unfold and soon I was caught up in life and just in awe of how things were coming together for me. I was in the midst of it all and in a flash was able to recognize just how perfect my life is. I was present and in awe. The problem is that I’m not usually—I keep putting off truly living until the future. Life will really start when I study abroad. Life will really start in grad school. Life will really start when I reach my goals and finally make it—

How far off is that? Am I supposed to sit around twiddling my thumbs in the meantime? Am I unsatisfied now? Honestly?

The answer is of course not, but I forget how happy I am to be in progress when I fixate on what I’m progressing towards. It’s good to have goals, yes, it’s good to know where you’re going and want something so badly that it motivates you to excellence in all areas of your life; yes, of course it is… But to forget to live in the process? When does living start if not now?

Hence the blog. I’ll confess it right now—confession is good for the soul, as they say—I do not appreciate the moment. I don’t appreciate that I am living my dream because all I can see is how the dream culminates. I don’t see what I have because I can only see what I don’t have yet.

To Journey Toward is to remind myself that I am on a journey, a journey that is going to continue until I die, and that every ‘end’ along the way is eventually going to give way to another. The journey is just as significant is what I’m moving toward—and I will always be in motion. Honestly, thinking about it, I never want to stagnate; even when I’ve reached what I think is the ultimate right now, I will have to keep moving forward to something new, growing as a person and in understanding.

I just hope that along the way I am able to be, while fully in motion, present and in awe of the world I have been blessed with. Things are incredible—I only have to look around and realize it. Thanks for coming on the journey with me, even though I’m not sure I really have anything to say that’s worth reading yet. I’ll get there.

Maybe.

At any rate, you’re grand for enduring me. I’ll see you soon.

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7 thoughts on “present and in awe

  1. It’s really cool that you started a new blog, Hero – er, Hannah (it’s weird that I know your name now :D). Looking forward to hearing more about your journey in life!

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    1. Thanks! I’m glad you’re here—and I have to be honest, I didn’t sign off on this post because writing Hannah instead of Hero was just too weird. xD

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  2. Being present is a challenge some days because the present is often difficult. I like your new perspective and I read a quote in book that made me think of you…”We read books to know that we are not alone.” CS Lewis. Strangely, it was not a quote from one of his books but a book about a lovely small town preacher in North Carolina who happens to be infatuated with great authors. I pray that you will have some time to read a book that helps you feel connected to the present point you are at on your journey.

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  3. Nice entry….now what do I do? Am I supposed to bookmark it, wait for a new FB post, or sign up? That’s also a way of saying that when I hit my next goal, like it or not, I’ll be too gray and too far behind technologically to keep up.

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    1. If you’d like, click that little menu button on the top right and type in your email in the subscription box to get an email when I put up new posts… I probably won’t announce them on Facebook.

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